Talking to Teenage Boys: Navigating Emotions, Social Media and Positive Role Models

The Netflix series Adolescence has struck a powerful chord with viewers, particularly parents of teenage children. Its raw portrayal of adolescent struggles with mental health, self-image, and online pressures has sparked widespread discussions. For many parents, it has been a wake-up call, highlighting the importance of maintaining open and honest conversations with their children about mental health and their experiences in today’s online-driven world.

The series has also drawn attention to the growing influence of the so-called “manosphere” – a network of online spaces promoting harmful and sometimes radical views on gender and relationships. Influencers peddling toxic masculinity and misogynistic ideals have gained alarming popularity, and while it is important for parents to be aware of these influences, giving them too much air time can sometimes amplify their reach. So let’s focus on how parents can effectively talk to their teenage boys about their feelings, the pressures they face, and highlight positive role models they can look up to.

The Power of Open Communication

One of the most impactful steps parents can take is fostering an environment of open communication. Teenage boys may find it difficult to express vulnerability, particularly in a culture that often equates masculinity with stoicism. However, creating space for regular, judgment-free conversations can encourage them to share their feelings.

• Ask open-ended questions: Rather than asking, “Are you okay?” try questions like, “What’s been on your mind lately?” or “How are you finding things with your friends or at school?” These questions invite more meaningful responses.
• Validate their feelings: When your son expresses emotions, acknowledge them without minimising or rushing to fix them. Phrases like, “That sounds tough” or “I can see why you’d feel that way” show empathy and build trust.
• Share your own experiences: While keeping the focus on your child, occasionally sharing your own challenges with self-doubt or emotions can normalise these feelings and make it easier for them to open up.

Navigating Social Media Influences

Teenage boys spend a significant amount of time online, and their exposure to social media influencers is inevitable. Helping them develop a critical mindset towards online content is essential.

• Teach media literacy: Help your son recognise when content is manipulative or misleading. Discuss how algorithms can push extreme content and encourage him to question what he sees online.
• Encourage mindful consumption: Promote the habit of following positive, uplifting accounts rather than those that promote anger, resentment, or unrealistic lifestyles. Explore creators who focus on kindness, empathy, and authenticity.
• Discuss the manosphere cautiously: If your son mentions influencers promoting problematic views, ask open questions about why they find them appealing. Rather than immediately condemning the figure, encourage critical thinking. For example, ask, “What do you admire about them? Do you think everything they say is fair or true?”

Spotlighting Positive Role Models

It is equally important to offer your son access to inspiring male figures who embody healthy masculinity and positive values. Here are a few contemporary role models who can help counter the influence of harmful online figures:

• Marcus Rashford: The Manchester United footballer has become an advocate for social justice, using his platform to combat food poverty and promote literacy. His dedication to helping others demonstrates compassion, responsibility, and empathy.
• Stormzy: The South London rapper uses his voice to support social causes and challenge inequality. His scholarship program for Black students at Cambridge University and his advocacy for mental health awareness make him a powerful example of using influence for good.
• Jamie Laing: The former Made in Chelsea star turned entrepreneur promotes kindness and authenticity. His willingness to openly show his emotions, along with his openness about anxiety and mental health struggles makes him a relatable figure for young men.
• Billy Monger: The British racing driver, who lost both legs in a crash, is a powerful symbol of resilience. He returned to competitive racing and now raises awareness for disability inclusion and mental health, while also supporting charitable causes, including Comic Relief, through remarkable endurance challenges.
• Ian Wright: The former Arsenal and England footballer is a passionate supporter of mental health awareness and uses his platform to speak openly about his own experiences and emotional struggles. He is also a prominent champion of women’s football, advocating for greater recognition, support, and equality in the sport

Encouraging Healthy Masculinity

Promoting positive masculinity helps teenage boys embrace emotional openness, kindness, and respect. Parents can reinforce this by:

• Modeling emotional literacy: It’s really helpful for fathers to show their sons that it’s healthy for men to express a full range of emotions, so be open about your own feelings and reactions.
• Challenging outdated norms: When you notice outdated gender stereotypes in media or conversations, point them out. For example, if a film portrays men as aggressive and unemotional, ask your son what he thinks about that portrayal.
• Celebrating empathy and kindness: When you see your son or his peers showing compassion or emotional maturity, praise them. Reinforce the message that kindness and empathy are strengths, not weaknesses.

Conclusion

In a world where teenage boys are exposed to complex and sometimes harmful online influences, parents have a vital role in guiding them toward emotional resilience and positive masculinity. By helping your son build confidence, compassion, and a healthy self-image, you can support his mental health and shape his respectful views toward others, including women.